So, I admit, I’m a year behind on this one. Last year, Storytime Underground invited everyone to share their professional goals and resolve to rock the next year. I didn’t have a blog, but I read every single post and, seven months in to my librarian career, I thought a lot about what I was reading, noticing similarities and things that made me say, “Oh! I should work on that!”
So here I am, a year later, offering my own professional/personal goals and resolving to rock 2016:
I put a lot of energy into being a children’s librarian, and sometimes it seems like that is all I do or all I am. I read blogs or watch webinars at home. I take professional development classes on the weekends. Because I have a long commute, many days I don’t feel like I’ve done anything other than librarian, (yes, that is a verb). Lately, when I try to cram too much other stuff in, even stuff I want to do, like spend time with friends or family, I come out feeling exhausted and stressed, and then I have less energy during the week to focus on work.
So this year I will spend more time doing slow things. More focused, planned, organized time on the projects I need to get done, so that I can stop stressing about them constantly. More weekend afternoons spent reading with no plans for the rest of the day. Instead of getting stressed when I don’t really want to go out or be social, I will accept that this is what I need.
I like things that I can control, and I like being in control and doing things exactly the right way that I want them done. This is exhausting. I like feeling that I’m doing the best (not MY best, not the best I can, but THE BEST), which is, of course, impossible. This leads to stress, and imposter syndrome, and feeling inadequate, and burn out, and worrying about anything that isn’t perfect.
This year I will let things go. I will realize that we can’t offer every amazing cool program possible, or do all the things I want to right away, and that I can’t even be in charge of every program we do offer. I will accept and ask for help, and I will be satisfied by making sure the things we do offer are freaking amazing.
When someone says, “oh, you should do THIS neat thing,” or (even worse), “Did you see what this OTHER library has??” instead of feeling bullied and judged, I will acknowledge that I maybe I can’t do more right now, and put it on my wish list for later. When something doesn’t work, I will learn from it and then let it go instead of worrying and feeling crappy.
This might not seem like a lot, but I hope that if I can make progress in these areas, I will continue to grow professionally and be an even better librarian.
OH! And also, I’m giving up candy. Which has nothing to do with being a librarian, except that there is often lots of junk food at the library, but now that I’ve said it on the internet, I have to follow through.